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After Action Review of 2018

After action review of 2018 in a constructive way revealed I must be careful not to travel the same road.

Note to self:  Don’t look back You are not going that way.

Brutally Honest Assessment of 2018

My needs are met. I have food, clothing and shelter, health insurance, family, church and wonderful pastor.  The Brutally Honest truth is My Cup is Empty. During the year, I  let go of many frustrations, disappointments and my perceived failures. Results are a cup empty of emotions, a frugal bank account and a complacent environment.

In 2019,  I will fill my cup.  No Refills Please!

Positive results of actions for 2018 :

1.  A marker for my Dad’s grave.  He died in the 90s and there wasn’t a foot stone to acknowledge his burial. My Dad wasn’t the same man when he left as he was when I was growing up. Alzheimer’s captured his thoughts sometimes in an unkind way. Old hurts surfaced. I wasn’t happy with his remarriage. For today, I honor him for being the Dad he didn’t have to be.  I was adopted. His remains no longer stay in an unmarked grave. I made peace with his second wife.

.    2. A family trip with me, Eliana and Kris across country. In August, we traveled by car                from Montana to Kentucky.  Tennessee and South Carolina were included.

3. Visits with family in Kentucky, Tennessee and South Carolina.

4. My son Mark,met his 10- year old Niece for the first time. In Kentucky  children grew up and settled near relatives.  It was inconceivable to me my middle son had not met his niece and lives 2200 miles away.  So blessed to have time with the two sons and my granddaughter.

5. Great Health report.

6. My goal to activate my Tennessee Real Estate Brokers license happened.

7. Completed several online courses for knowledge and skill to launch an online business. Even more important, I studied and studied God’s word.

Seven powerful statements for desires fulfilled in 2018.

Brutally Honest Truth must disclose I missed 3 major goals.

A home inspection for a house you consider purchasing must have full disclosure of anything wrong.  Then, the buyer and seller have a choice to make if anything unfavorable is disclosed.

The seller can fix or repair items in question.

The buyer can agree to accept it as is and be content.

I have a home inspection which encompasses my body, mind and soul.  Here’s the side throughout the year I vaguely disclosed.

My Soul was healed and released of an Orphan Spirit.  My mind and body remained a challenge.

The acquired deformity in my foot  restricted my walking, making money, being happy, and probably my longevity.  Is that true? I declared it to be true the first of the year of 2018. It’s 2019 and I acknowledge…it is not true!  Yes, it presents restrictions, .It was true the past year because I made a choice to make it true. I constantly spoke words confirming my “condition.”  I limited my physical movement and financial goals.

A new friend in 2018 is a massage therapist.  She jokingly describes my foot as a little elf foot!  I love that description….just like an imaginary happy little elf who hopped on a shelf, my little elf foot carries me on.  It is not deformed but normal for me.

I  made a choice not to fully disclose the true amount of pain with anyone outside of my immediate space. God had mercy on those in my immediate space. I confess to being very negative.  I have learned it’s okay to be honest to accept the things we can’t change, change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference.  I resisted the things I could not change and their negative influence persisted.

The brutally honest truth is ….pain is my constant companion.  Can I change it? No. I can live and acknowledge the pain, stretch my limits for what I accepted to be restriction and know God honors me when I speak life into my dry hurting bones!  When pain stands between me and a desired action, I will be honest and decline not whine. I will be kind and not offended when others don’t remember I may not be able to do some things with them.    So,  this year, you just watch me and God go.

I looked in the mirror and then compared pictures from long previous years.  Sorry, but I don’t like the image in the mirror. Is it an image that will remain forever? No, the fat lady in the mirror doesn’t have to stick around.  My brutally honest truth today is I am borderline obese and looking forward to my normal weight. I am excited with my action plan for weight loss this year.

Enlightenment came when a friend in our writing group posted  “What if you Were Not Beautiful.” Oh my goodness….her article brought tears to my eyes. (click on beautiful to read)  I have never felt pretty much less beautiful but I was at one time so proud of my pretty little feet. I am short and I was also proud of my petite frame. God didn’t make me fat.  I did. God didn’t injure my foot.  I did.  My misgivings don’t change the beauty God sees in me.

The brutally honest truth is I have made pictures without my feet in them… I noticed the stares from people in public. Sometimes I was sure they were saying to themselves…Oh…..what happened to her foot…Is one leg shorter than the other? I constantly felt like the runt of the litter when others bounded up the steps and my 98-year-old neighbor went faster than me. Is it true that others have been cruel at times? Yes. Did their words hurt when I heard them? Yes. Was my reaction justified?  Maybe.

No,  truth is my feelings hurt when I became acutely aware I no longer walk like I used to walk.  I cannot run. Walking an incline is difficult and uneven ground almost impossible today. The truth is I have my own foot and I can walk and Life is Good. Each day I will look forward to constant and never-ending improvement.

Did I mention I made new friends in 2018 who empathized with pain and lack.  Shall I still consider these people “friends”? No, they are acquaintances.  I pray the Light of God shines so bright in my life they may reach out to Him for their needs.

It was my verbal desire to live in Franklin. I did not put any action into the desire.  The season for me to live in Franklin may be in the past. I am not there. Am I going to make a Franklin residence a goal for this year?  No. I declare I will Go where God leads me to go. If I am hesitant or afraid I will go anyway!  It’s refreshing and a return to youthful exuberance to look forward to the surprise God has for me.

What are my goals for this year?   I will greet each day with love in my heart and the intention to do a good deed for someone during the day. I will choose a verb each day and live into the word fully.   Twenty Six Words will pave my path forward.

I will develop the habit to think before I speak, strive to respond not react. I know the power of Life and Death is in my tongue.

That’s your hint.   Each day will have a word assigned to live into from the alphabet. Yep,  I am doing my ABC’s. The words I speak will empower me to walk more, straighter, embrace and release the pain.  I will speak over my life Proverbs 31 and as a blessed female walk in prosperity, my cup will run over and I will share with you.  My primary word  this year is Steady.  I tend to accomplish more in a sprint.

My word for the day will introduce my thoughts. My thoughts will drive me to new habits, my habits change my life.  Words are a part of my life, my cup will overflow daily.

For the first time in many years, I don’t have written goals.  Statements declaring I will make x-amount of dollars this year, buy a new house, build a new house, travel a designated amount of miles and move to a definite address are not written.  I am an open vessel for the abundance of God to enter and fill my entire being.

I am happy to read your goals, celebrate your achievements and share my blessings.

For now, it’s time for me to write in the present …write of Gods grace in my life and the wonderful things He has for you and me.  Come on let’s

Go Forth and Prosper together,

Molinda Sue